Not Your Daddy’s Recap 9/4/2020

It’s September and folks, I’m fiesty. The good; We got to keep Lance Lynn, Leody Taveras staying up in the big league, and Jose Trevino bumped up to starting catcher. The nasty: One could also argue keeping Lance Lynn, WHERE IN THE WORLD IS DeMARCUS EVANS, and virtual schooling my 11 and 12 year old boys. I’m not made for teaching, y’all. But I’ll throw in some virtual schooling tips I’ve learned on this journey.

Tonight the Rangers are in Seattle. Kyle Cody is making his MLB debut on the mound as a starter. I’m all for playing the new talent and it will be interesting to see how he does in this new position.

If you’re new to “Not Your Daddy’s Recap” we do things a little differently around here. Don’t expect a play-by-play. Do expect me to speak my mind. And I’ll warn ya’, sometimes it wanders.

Here we go! Kikuchi is pitching for Seattle. Taveras strikes out and by now you all know how I feel about omens. IKF out on a grounder to third. Solak flies out to right. Not a stellar start. For once I’d like to see the Rangers attack a first inning with guns blazing.

Let’s see how Cody does on the mound. Crawford pops out back of second. White makes an amazing leaping catch at the wall to get out Moore. Lewis is out on a grounder. We didn’t get any and they didn’t get any either.

Virtual School Tip 1: Think of virtual schooling as a journey. To Modor, without the great scenery and jewelry.

End of One: Rangers 0, Mariners 0

Gallo is up to start the second and our man is struggling. He’s 2 for his last 32. That’s not the Gallo we have grown to love. He strikes out. Trevino strikes out. Choo grounds out. That was a whole lotta nothing.

Cody walks Seager on a questionable pitch. A bad pick off throw advances Seager to second. France grounds a soft one up the middle for a single and Seager scores. The Mariners draw first blood. Marmolejos flies out to center and Taveras throws to first and gets France out for the double play. Cody walks White. Torrens grounds out. This could have been much worse.

Virtual School Tip 2: Absolutely get dressed in the morning. Because without a doubt at some time you’ll make an unexpected cameo on Zoom, and it’s better not to be in a tee shirt and your skivvies for a bunch of seventh graders. Not that I’d know from experience or anything, ahem.

End of Two: Rangers 0, Mariners 1

Andrus grounds out. Guzman strikes out. White grounds out. Ho hum. Nothing doing for our offense.

Cody strikes out Haggerty. Strikes Crawford out on three pitches. Moore flies out. This was probably Cody’s last inning. A fine showing for this young man.

Virtual School Tip 3: Expect Zoom or your entire internet to crash at least once a week. Keep a calm head. My 11 year old looked like he was performing the lamp scene from Fatal Attraction as he clicked Zoom over, and over, and over, and over…

End of Three: Rangers 0, Mariners 1

Taveras bounces out. IKF bounces a single through to center. Solak bounces into a double play.

King in to pitch his MLB debut. Lewis flies out to right. King hits Seager in the elbow pad with a fastball. He walks France and Seattle has runners on first and second. Marmolejos grounds one through and now the bases are loaded with one out. White hits one off the top of the wall and two score. Torrens grounds out. Haggerty is thrown out at first.

Virtual School Tip 4: Apparently wearing a mask while at home and on camera is cool. That, or my boys have no idea what cool is. In that case they take after their father.

End of Four: Rangers 0, Mariners 3

Gallo strikes out which is his new normal. Trevino blasts one out to the second deck in left. Choo strikes out. Andrus grounds out. At least we won’t be shut out.

King is back out out on the mound in a bit of a surprise. Crawford grounds out. Moore shoots one into right field for a double. Benjamin is warming up in the bullpen. Lewis strikes out for King’s first in the majors. Seager pops out.

Virtual School Tip 5: Aim for their school lunch time to feed them a meal. I haven’t mastered this one and my kids are usually eating during class. But then again, like the aforementioned Hobbits, they are always eating. I stopped counting at second lunch today.

End of Five: Rangers 1, Mariners 3

Guzman grounds out to start the sixth. White gets thrown out at first and still doesn’t have his first big league hit. Taveras strikes out. Our bats are dead.

Benjamin is now on the mound. France flies out to right. Marmolejos pops out to center. Benjamin walks White. Torrens walks on four pitches. They’re on the bullpen phone again as Seattle has runners at first and second. Herget is warming. Benjamin strikes out Haggerty. A close call, but we manage to get through the inning with no runs scoring.

Virtual School Tip 6: Your child will still probably have phys ed. Unfortunately due to the way the boys’ learning space is set up, they have about three feet to work out in. It’s like Jane Fonda in a glass bottle.

End of Six: Rangers 1, Mariners 3

Graveman in to pitch for Kikuchi. IKF thrown out at first. Solak thrown out at first. Gallo, once again, strikes out. I’m about to give up on our offense.

Herget takes over pitching duties. Crawford pops out. Herget stretches out to field a tapper to first and falls past the ball. Moore’s on first. Lewis pops out. Moore steals second. Seager gets a walk and there are now runners on first and second. France grounds out. We somehow get out of another inning with Mariners left on base.

Virtual School Tip 7: Virtual School will most likely adhere to the same schedule as in person schooling. I yelled at my boys from the other room for talking to each other only to find out it was a passing period. Oopsy.

End of Seven: Rangers 1, Mariners 3

Misiewicz relieves Graveman. Trevino pops out. Choo bounces out. Andrus strikes out. One Two Three, No Offense for Thee.

Hearn in the game now. Marmolejos pops out. White pops right to Taveras but it touches the ground before softly bouncing in his glove, so White has a single. Torrens strikes out. Hearn throws a pitch way over Trevino’s head and White moves to second. Haggerty gets a walk and the Mariners have runners on first and second. Crawford hits a bomb to right field and they score three. Martin is warming in the pen. Moore strikes out.

Virtual School Tip 8: This one is serious y’all. If you have a special needs student, meet with their teacher and go over their IEP. Interventions they had during in-person school should still be practiced in virtual school. Some examples include shortened lessons, extended testing time, and having lessons read out loud. That means you, mom or dad, perform like Marsters reading a Dresden book. Bonus points for different voices. You got this.

End of Eight: Rangers 1, Mariners 6

Hirano in to pitch. We have a steep hill to climb here for a team with no offense. Guzman attempts a bunt but is thrown out at first. White gets a walk. Taveras drops one into center and now we have runners on first and second. Besides Trevino’s trip around the bases this is the first time we’ve had a man as far as second. IKF drops one into right and the bases are loaded for Solak. Solak flies out deep imto the outfield but it’s enough to get a run home. It’s Gallo time again. Gallo sneaks one through to left, we score one and have runners on first and second. Tying run to the plate with Trevino. He bouces out. The game is over. Our offense is dead.

Virtual School Tip 9: It is always, always, five o’clock somewhere. This is why God made mimosas, y’all.

End of Game: Rangers 3, Mariners 6